Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
