omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
