Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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