i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
