she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
