ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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