Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
