Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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