did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Be still, my beating vagina.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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