I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
