its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
