everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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