I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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