If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
