Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
