Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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