I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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