Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
