it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I need a beard to bite.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
