i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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