Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
