it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
