You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
