Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
