if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
