Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
