oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
