what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
