we have officially lost it.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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