did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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