Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
