he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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