Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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