can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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