i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
