Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
