Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
