We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my vag is so smooth its legendary
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
