Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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