My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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