Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
