maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
