the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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