...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
is it fun? or sober?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize