Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
