I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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