Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
