I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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