see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
