Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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