she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
