Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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