i don't like sucking hair
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
