Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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