God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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